Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder, commonly known as ADHD, is a neurodevelopmental disorder that affects approximately 10 million adults in the United States. ADHD is often associated with symptoms such as impulsivity, hyperactivity, and difficulty with focus and attention. While the impact of ADHD can vary widely between individuals, it can have a significant impact on marriages and relationships.
A 2022 research study found that couples with one spouse with ADHD had higher levels of conflict, lower marital adjustment, and poorer conflict resolution styles than those without ADHD (Kahveci & Tutarel Kişlak, 2022). They also found the following:
Marital problems of individuals with ADHD are related to the severity of symptoms.
Individuals with ADHD dispute more issues and more frequently in their marriages.
Individuals with ADHD use dysfunctional conflict resolution styles more frequently in their marriages.
Untreated ADHD can lead to the termination of marriages
One of the key challenges for people with ADHD is maintaining focus and attention on tasks, including tasks related to marriage and relationships. People with ADHD may struggle with remembering important dates or events, listening attentively during conversations, doing their share of household tasks, and following through on commitments. These challenges can create frustration and tension in marriages, as partners may feel ignored, forgotten, or unsupported.
Another common issue that arises in marriages affected by ADHD is impulsivity. People with ADHD may struggle with impulsively making decisions, which can sometimes lead to rash or inappropriate actions. This impulsivity can lead to problems with communication, decision-making, and finances, which can significantly strain the relationship.
In addition to these challenges, ADHD can also affect emotional regulation. People with ADHD may struggle with controlling their emotions, which can lead to outbursts, mood swings, and difficulty managing stress. This can be especially challenging in marriages, where emotional regulation and communication are essential for a healthy relationship.
Despite these challenges, it's important to note that ADHD doesn't have to be a relationship deal-breaker. With the right strategies and support, couples can work through the challenges of ADHD and build strong, healthy relationships.
One important strategy for managing ADHD in marriage is to establish clear communication. Partners should openly discuss the challenges and needs associated with ADHD, and work together to develop strategies for managing symptoms. This might include things like setting reminders, establishing routines, or creating systems for tracking important information.
Another important strategy is to seek professional support. Therapists and counselors can provide guidance and support for managing ADHD in the context of a relationship. They can also help couples develop strategies for communicating effectively, managing stress, and improving emotional regulation.
Finally, it's important for partners to maintain a sense of compassion and empathy for one another. People with ADHD often have more sensitivity to criticism and may feel frustrated or overwhelmed by the challenges they face, and it's important for partners to offer support and understanding. By working together and maintaining a strong sense of partnership, couples affected by ADHD can build a strong, healthy, and fulfilling relationship.
Kahveci Öncü B, Tutarel Kişlak Ş. Marital Adjustment and Marital Conflict in Individuals Diagnosed with ADHD and Their Spouses. Noro Psikiyatr Ars. 2022 Apr 19;59(2):127-132. doi: 10.29399/npa.27502. PMID: 35685044; PMCID: PMC9142016.
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